2012 Resolutions

It’s that time of year again.  January, and time for resolutions and commitments and planning.  Here are some suggestions for people both famous and not so famous:

• Kim Kardashian:  Have a marriage that lasts 74 days.
   
• The Chicago Bears:  Get a new quarterback, new team, and a new home.
   
• My Post Office:  Actually deliver my mail and do not send it back with ‘moved away’ stickers just because the regular mail man is on vacation or has a day off.
   
• Matt Romney:  Take a dramatic acting class and add drama to…everything.
   
• North Korea:  Rather than putting so much effort into developing nuclear weapons, try developing a way to feed your people.  A nuclear bomb is not much use if there is no one to lift it due to malnutrition.
   
• Justin Beiber:  Grow a mustache.
   
• President O’bama:  During the debates with the Republican nominee, have your jaws wired shut.  Let your opponent do all the talking.
   
• My muscles:  Grow.
   
• My stomach:  Shrink.
   
• Chicago Bulls:  Rather than spend 95 million dollars on a 21 year old player, give half that money to the Love in Action Orphanage.  The money won’t make a difference to the kid player.  It will make a huge difference to the lives of several kids at Love in Action.
   
• All the Woman I Ask Out:  Say yes.
   
• Publishers I send my stories, books, plays to:  Publish them and produce them.
   
• Me:  Quit watching television and read 5 books a week.
   
• Authors/Publishing Companies:  Produce books worth reading.
   
• Me:  Lose 40 pounds
   
• McDonalds, Pizza places, Chinese restaurants, Mexican restaurants, Italian restaurants:  When you see me coming, remind me about the above resolution.
  
  These are just a few suggestions and ideas.  If completed, they might make the world a better place.
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